How do you know when you need a vacation?

5 Aug

I knew last yearย when this happened.

Last night, my boyfriend and I were drinking margaritas out on my porch. As the sound of sirens and the ice cream truck jingle serenaded us in the distance, I asked him, “How do you know you when you need a vacation?”

“Uh..” he thought aloud for a moment, “having a wet dream of yourself on the beach in Tahiti, only to wake up to a wet dream.”

I laughed and shook my head. “I usually know when I find myself cussing at people on Facebook who post beautiful beach shots from their vacations because every place is effing lovely and I just want to go to there already but instead I’m stuck at work and the life is draining from my eyes and soon we’ll all be regretting not having more fun in our lives and then we’ll die.”

“Don’t worry, we’ll be at the beach in one week,” he reminded me. Excited about that thought, we then went back and forth and made a list. Add to it!





How do you know when you need a vacation?

– When the only thing you can celebrate about today was that you pooped before your shower and a butt lint crisis was avoided.

– Your Google Search history at work from 9:30 am – 1:30 pm includes the words “sunsets, “beaches” and “beach sunsets.”

– You daydream in the grocery store for 20 minutes while people yell at you in line.

– You make a different beachy drink every night while listening to the Pandora station “Laid Back Beach Music” because if you’re drunk enough, you can “travel” anywhere.

– Camping in your backyard… which is full of cockroaches and rats.

– You spent 2+ hours skimming, holding back your trigger finger from booking a last-minute deal.

– You wear your bathing suit around the house and pretend you’re going back out on the beach any second now.

– When you hear a Jimmy Buffett song and want to punch him for living in a permanent vacation spot.

– You buy a baby pool so at least your dog and/or feet can get a vacation.

– You make your boyfriend watch “Beach Blanket Bingo” and you both enjoy it just a little too much.

– You look at Yelp reviews of various beach campsites.

– You buy key lime flavored everything as a means of channeling the Florida Keys.

– Everything seems to piss you off and you know you need a wave to knock you on your ass to keep you in check.

41 Responses to “How do you know when you need a vacation?”

  1. Bob August 5, 2013 at 3:41 pm #

    You forgot a big one La La, finally emerging from your last tequila fueled hangover with too much money and too few brain cells not to book another trip instantly!


    • La La August 5, 2013 at 3:43 pm #

      Bob, your input is always important to my very important blog posts. I can’t believe I missed that!


      • Bob August 5, 2013 at 3:45 pm #

        I do try to keep you on your toes La La. Btw please edit my cell snot. Ouch!


        • La La August 5, 2013 at 3:49 pm #

          Haha, that would have annoyed me too. DONE!


  2. Carrie Rubin August 5, 2013 at 3:43 pm #

    I think that last one is spot on. It’s my best indicator, anyway. Have fun on your trip. I’m sure you’re very excited!


    • La La August 5, 2013 at 3:50 pm #

      VERY EXCITED, CARRIE. We are camping on the beach with wild ponies!


      • Carrie Rubin August 5, 2013 at 4:24 pm #

        That sounds very adventurous. Would you like to tote two teenage boys along with you?…


        • La La August 5, 2013 at 4:28 pm #

          Oh…why that would be lovely. The tent is actually for 4!


          • Carrie Rubin August 5, 2013 at 4:32 pm #

            You’d never survive. The smells alone would put you into a coma.


  3. Viciously Sweet August 5, 2013 at 3:56 pm #

    This is so true. I find that when I have blinding rage at my most annoying coworkers just because they came to talk to me. It reminds me I need to take some time off before I start beating them with their own vacation paperweights while the “Pina Colada song” plays tropically and cryptically behind us.
    I hope your vacation is uber delicious ๐Ÿ™‚


    • La La August 5, 2013 at 4:00 pm #

      Exactly! I’m imagining that now haha. I hate when they get me something nice and I’m mad about it and pissed off at their tans…this is how you know it’s time.


  4. pastramibasket August 5, 2013 at 4:07 pm #

    When listening to Harry Belafonte makes you want to cry.


    • La La August 5, 2013 at 4:09 pm #

      Perfect example. I LOVE him.


      • pastramibasket August 5, 2013 at 4:25 pm #

        Who doesn’t? Beetlejuice is what began my infatuation.


        • La La August 5, 2013 at 4:27 pm #

          As it should have been. ๐Ÿ™‚


  5. RFL August 5, 2013 at 4:31 pm #

    I need a vacation. The last time I went to the beach was 2008. Sigh. Enjoy your trip!!!


    • La La August 5, 2013 at 8:45 pm #

      Yeah you need a trip, girlfriend!


  6. talesfromthemotherland August 5, 2013 at 8:13 pm #

    I vote for the last one, but then it’s always time for a vacation in my book. Thank goodness I live in a vacation destination. lalalalalalalala


  7. David Stewart August 5, 2013 at 8:32 pm #

    I like that last one. ๐Ÿ™‚ My symptom is I spend a lot of time on Google Earth, looking at the satellite photos of various exotic places. So close, yet so far away…


    • La La August 5, 2013 at 8:41 pm #

      Where do you go on vacation?


      • David Stewart August 5, 2013 at 8:54 pm #

        Usually, I just go back to the States to see the family, but this year we’re just staying in Korea. I like to go camping on various sparsely-populated islands, or maybe go to the mountains. Somewhere far away from a lot of people.


        • La La August 5, 2013 at 8:58 pm #

          Sounds awesome. ๐Ÿ™‚


  8. Trent Lewin August 5, 2013 at 9:46 pm #

    Thanks a lot. Now my head’s in a cloud and my soul is lying on a beach.


    • La La August 6, 2013 at 11:10 am #

      You’re welcome ๐Ÿ˜‰


  9. savioni August 6, 2013 at 7:22 am #

    When one of your ex-girlfriends looks you in the eye and says, “You need a vacation,” and you know in the back of your mind that you haven’t had one since 1995.


    • La La August 6, 2013 at 11:09 am #

      Yes, that’s how!


  10. ridicuryder August 6, 2013 at 12:32 pm #

    La La,
    I’m silly as shit a lot of the time so there’s this floating vacation atmosphere……but when I start getting on my own nerves it is time for some kind of outing / trip.

    Take a couple of bags of carrots with you to the beach with Ponies….. There will be signs everywhere saying not to feed them, but the twelfth time you see a kid or some dude holding a carrot between their teeth while a lovely pony comes over to semi – French kiss them you will feel like a chump.


    • La La August 6, 2013 at 1:15 pm #

      Good to know, dude. Nice idea. I don’t like kissing ponies, but I also don’t like feeling like a chump. ๐Ÿ˜‰


      • ridicuryder August 6, 2013 at 1:24 pm #

        You can also just hand feed em if you can stomach being outrageously conventional…….if you somehow wind up on the ultra PC seashore where nobody feeds the ponies – sorry in advance.


        • La La August 6, 2013 at 1:52 pm #

          Wait, if I feed them, will they not follow us back to our campsite and beg and frighten me in the night?


          • ridicuryder August 6, 2013 at 2:47 pm #

            I am not a park ranger (obviously) so I am going to say you are thinking more raccoons than a stick with the herd animal like a horse/pony. Being trampled in the night by a herd of ponies would make a pretty kick-ass vacation blog post though. Skip the carrots if you lack journalistic integrity and write the fucker anyway!

            Maybe you only leave your campsite with a couple of carrots at a time so that a whole bag doesn’t entice the ponies. You might also consider always being in your bathing suit so when the munching is over you can trail off to the beach (well away from your campsite) and splash around in the ocean – washing off the scent of pony saliva and carrot shavings…..especially if you start letting them nibble out of your cleavage. If they follow you into the surf……a couple of more amazing Vacation blog paragraphs.

            Most people choose to get back to nature Sierra Club style. So you Bugs Bunny around with the ponies a bit. Was there a sign on the Western frontier that said ” No Dancing With Wolves” ?


            • La La August 6, 2013 at 2:51 pm #

              Hahahaha, you’re hilarious. You’re right, I really need to be a more courageous journalist and take one for the team!


            • ridicuryder August 6, 2013 at 2:56 pm #

              Getting nipped by a horse can be a little nasty though – maybe the La La Ta Ta action should stay inside the tent ๐Ÿ™‚


  11. Jen and Tonic August 6, 2013 at 2:07 pm #

    I know I need a vacation when I get the desire to get my hair braided and play steel drums.


    • La La August 6, 2013 at 2:26 pm #

      Imagining that will get me through this afternoon. Thank you.


  12. flirtingwith30 August 7, 2013 at 7:00 am #

    Two shiny awards from me to you!


  13. artinpublicplaces August 8, 2013 at 9:32 pm #

    To me, an affordable summer vacation means rolling down the driver’s side window and catching a bit of trucker’s tan on my left arm ๐Ÿ™‚ To even out the look I sometimes switch over to the passenger’s side.


    • La La August 9, 2013 at 7:49 am #

      I like your description. ๐Ÿ™‚


  14. BrainRants August 10, 2013 at 10:49 am #

    Here’s one: when you’re so pasty white that backyard sunbathing causes airplanes to crash because of the reflected light off of your skin.


  15. Andrew August 14, 2013 at 10:19 am #

    The pooping matter is huge. Truer words have not been said. And I always did wonder that about Jimmy Buffet. That guy is invincible. I imagine living on a boat bigger than my parents house, partying with pirates, and eating as much pizza and fish tacos as he wants. Nothing beats a pizza party.


    • La La August 17, 2013 at 4:37 pm #

      I wish I was kidding when I say that for my 28th birthday, I had a pizza and wine party. My friend came and was like, “sweet pizza party, dude.” Even though I think she was being sarcastic, I don’t care, because was a sweet pizza party. Jeeze.


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