I knew last year when this happened.
Last night, my boyfriend and I were drinking margaritas out on my porch. As the sound of sirens and the ice cream truck jingle serenaded us in the distance, I asked him, “How do you know you when you need a vacation?”
“Uh..” he thought aloud for a moment, “having a wet dream of yourself on the beach in Tahiti, only to wake up to a wet dream.”
I laughed and shook my head. “I usually know when I find myself cussing at people on Facebook who post beautiful beach shots from their vacations because every place is effing lovely and I just want to go to there already but instead I’m stuck at work and the life is draining from my eyes and soon we’ll all be regretting not having more fun in our lives and then we’ll die.”
“Don’t worry, we’ll be at the beach in one week,” he reminded me. Excited about that thought, we then went back and forth and made a list. Add to it!
How do you know when you need a vacation?
– When the only thing you can celebrate about today was that you pooped before your shower and a butt lint crisis was avoided.
– Your Google Search history at work from 9:30 am – 1:30 pm includes the words “sunsets, “beaches” and “beach sunsets.”
– You daydream in the grocery store for 20 minutes while people yell at you in line.
– You make a different beachy drink every night while listening to the Pandora station “Laid Back Beach Music” because if you’re drunk enough, you can “travel” anywhere.
– Camping in your backyard… which is full of cockroaches and rats.
– You spent 2+ hours skimming Carnival.com, holding back your trigger finger from booking a last-minute deal.
– You wear your bathing suit around the house and pretend you’re going back out on the beach any second now.
– When you hear a Jimmy Buffett song and want to punch him for living in a permanent vacation spot.
– You buy a baby pool so at least your dog and/or feet can get a vacation.
– You make your boyfriend watch “Beach Blanket Bingo” and you both enjoy it just a little too much.
– You look at Yelp reviews of various beach campsites.
– You buy key lime flavored everything as a means of channeling the Florida Keys.
– Everything seems to piss you off and you know you need a wave to knock you on your ass to keep you in check.