Thoughts From a Drunk Girl…Ok, Woman…Pt. 2

21 Oct

Have there really only been two of these? Probably not, but who am I to question my drunk titles? I have some things to say because these are the things I’m thinking:

  1. When did I become a woman? God, that’s weird.
  2. There’s a mouse in my kitchen right now. I don’t want to have to go back in because I don’t want to make eye contact with him because then I’ll have to keep him and name him something lame because that’s what I do. Oh god, I’m out of wine….Stilwell! His name shall be Stilwell.
  3. I don’t write as much anymore because my entire life has changed and I barely identify with and have time for that side of me. Weird, right? I miss this part of me the most. It will be back. I swear to god. Oh wait, here it is.
  4. I still like farts even though I’m 31, but I will say they are most appreciated when comedically timed and not happening in front of a fan.
  5. Everyone has said I would want kids someday. They weren’t wrong. Thanks, aging and maternal instincts or body clock, or whatever. We’re all getting older and we all are going to die someday. Deal with it. Sorry about that.
  6. I actually enjoy giving candy to kids on Halloween now. I used to be so cynical about that before. I even like dressing as a Disney princess to make them happy. WHAT!?
  7. Getting older also means being an adult about other things–like facing the past. Fuck you past, you don’t know me. I mean, thanks for making me the me I am now, or whatever, but otherwise? Go away.
  8. Wait, back to being a mom. I think I would do the weirdest stuff. I would google, like, “how to mom.” Many years from now, my son will find this blog and be like “WHAT THE HELL, MOM?” and I’ll shrug and be like:
  9. 1017152306b_HDR

 

  1.  Also, what should his name be? Stilwell? Also, yaaaa I don’t know why the list just restarted. Just ignore it. Like I said, I’m drunk.
  2. Stilwell. God, that’s such a terrible name. All I can think of is that dick kid from “A League of Their Own.” Remember that? If anyone wants to drink wine with me and cry themselves into a wine coma with me while watching that movie, I’m available on most nights. I prefer a Friday night though because my face gets all puffy when I cry now though because I’m 90.
  3. His name….his name….something classic.
  4. What am I talking about?
  5. You know what I love? Candy. Fucking candy is so good.
  6. Not actually fucking the candy though, that’s weird. I guess properly it would be, “Candy is so fucking good.”  Anyway.
  7. Guys? I’m drunk. Drunk skunk. Lol that sounds like Russian Rocky and Bullwinkle lady. “Drunk like skunk.”
  8. I DONT KNOW WHY THIS NUMBERED LIST RESTARTED IN NUMBERS. I WASN’T DONE.
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14 Responses to “Thoughts From a Drunk Girl…Ok, Woman…Pt. 2”

  1. Weinhold October 21, 2015 at 11:15 pm #

    It’s a Wednesday. Grow up already. Watch Matlock and get to bed by 10.

    Liked by 1 person

    • La La October 21, 2015 at 11:18 pm #

      Weinhold! Go to bed, old man!

      Like

      • Jayne October 22, 2015 at 1:09 am #

        OMG – That’s your son’s name, “Weinhold”! You can cll him Wein ( pronounced “Wine”) You’ll LOVE the HELL right out of him, especially when you call him in to have dinner. You’ll also be yelling what you want to drink. I love Drunk Girl.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Scott October 22, 2015 at 6:42 am #

    Stilwel sounds like a butler’s name. “Stilwel, fetch me a beer, chap.”

    Liked by 1 person

    • La La October 22, 2015 at 6:45 am #

      Gotta find a new name now

      Like

  3. G-LO October 22, 2015 at 9:04 am #

    Stilwel sounds like where good whisky comes from. The Still where they make the whisky. And the Well where they get the pure artesian well water to make the whisky.

    Liked by 1 person

    • La La October 22, 2015 at 4:55 pm #

      Gotta love the whisky, G-LO!

      Like

  4. CB October 22, 2015 at 4:04 pm #

    I know why it restarted… I’ll never tell… haha. Something you could’ve fixed in the text editor. Either way, I do like your drunk list. And I really hope your naming ability improves before your future child is born. 😉

    Lastly, I agree “Woman” is weird, but referring to myself or anyother lady over 30 as a girl feels just as odd. We are the inbetweeners I suppose.

    Liked by 1 person

    • La La October 22, 2015 at 5:00 pm #

      Heeeeeey. Watch out, drunk me might come around sniffing for text editor answers! Also, I guess “lady” works, even if I normally associate that with manners and such. It sounds way better than woman–I know that much. Inbetweeners, though, I like that best!

      Liked by 1 person

      • CB October 22, 2015 at 6:55 pm #

        I always think of that guy who would go, “hey laaaadyyyy” whenever I use or see the term. Lol

        Like

  5. TheClassicGentleman October 24, 2015 at 8:17 am #

    Good for you not minding letting them go and enjoying the comedy behind them too =p need more ladies who are comfortable like that!

    Like

  6. D K Powell November 1, 2015 at 1:15 pm #

    This is class and, bizarrely, the second drunk post I’ve read today when I don’t ever recall reading one before. Possibly other than your posts in the past of course. Though it’s hard to tell. Anyway. Class. Pure gold this post 😀

    Like

  7. Omar September 12, 2016 at 9:13 pm #

    I just want to know what your favorite candy is?

    Like

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