I’m kinda tired, but here are some thoughts I’m thinking! And I’m drinking! Yay!
- LOL. SAME:
- Alfonso Ribiero is, like, my Captain Planet power thing. Imagine we all put in our rings and it’s like, “Earth! Fire! Wind! Alfonso Ribiero!” and Captain Planet shows up and does the Carlton dance. Ha. I’d like that.
My friend Stacey and I were talking and she sent a pic of herself to be like “hi, friend.” I went to send a reply pic and realized I am an exhausted, unshowered woman in big earphones and a giant pink sports bra. This is kind of a regular thing. How men have ever governed their boners around me remains a legitimate question.
“Sorry I got angry and farted on your cat” is not something I want to ever have to say to another human. Again. I never want to have to say it again.
I went to Mardi Gras and saw some things I want to see again and saw some things I will never unsee. Weird boobs, for example. Below is a poem I just wrote about it.
While you stroll in New Orleans
you ought to go see the Mardi Gras
cause you’ll see some weird boobs–
go there to see some if you want.
Go eat po’ boys
and drink giant daiquiris,
which are just subs
and slushies with alcohol.
I ended up getting many ice headaches,
but hey, it was fun,
because I saw some weird boobs
and a guy showed me his Zulu King
(that’s code for wiener).
- Life–is it not so strange? So sublime? Have you ever had one of those abracadabra awestruck moments when everything seems to fit together and you fill up with pure, loving emotion? Me too. We’re all connected.
I’m sorry, I have no idea where this one came from. Move along, folks. Nothing to see here.
Recently I saw a puppy bark at a gust of wind and it was adorable. This is my new hobby, and I would like for this new hobby, to which I am unwaveringly devoted, to blossom into a rewarding career. “What do you do for a living?” they’ll ask. “Oh, me? I observe the shit out of cute puppies. I’m so grateful and so blessed, you know. Puppy observation is a competitive field and I worked hard to get to my position as the Director-General of Observing Puppies.”
I’m sorry I haven’t been writing…and thank you to everyone who annoys me about it until I finally write again. I had a recent burst of creativity and more will come soon, and some of it wasn’t even written under the influence! GOODNIGHT GUYS!