Archive | October, 2012

Post #2 by Another Single, Boring White Girl Named Lauren

10 Oct

This was once the view from my workplace:

London

 

This is now the view from my workplace:

Graveyard

 

Coming back to Baltimore was a sensible choice and editing science could be rewarding. Someday. Today I am editing a grant about the capacity for Env to differentiate naïve CD4 T cells into the T follicular helper phenotype. I must be sort of tired or something because my eyes keep crossing.

I work with an international group of people like I did in London, although I suppose now it’s just mostly old Chinese men and one old Russian guy.

Oh…and I guess there’s this one guy from Wisconsin named Glen who stares at me in the elevator. He has a bowl cut.

They may not give me credit for the things I do here, but it’s only a 12 minute drive from my house. Sometimes 14 minutes. Speaking of, I’m looking forward to getting home tonight because I’m having couscous again for dinner. Neat.

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Post by Another Single, Boring White Girl Named Lauren

9 Oct

Looks like a rat has made a nest on my front porch. It’s pretty much the size of a Chihuahua. I saw it eating a bagel. My diet only allows those 100 calorie bagel thins. Must be nice.

Anyway, I guess the rat is here to stay. I’ve swept its poop off the stoop on Saturdays and Wednesdays for at least a month now.

Lunch time. I brought yogurt. Got to make sure my body looks like skin and bones for next summer in case I get to go to the beach or something.

 
– Lauren

PS – Oh my gosh, I almost forgot tomorrow is trash day. That was a close call.

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La La Versus Lauren

8 Oct

I have written as La La for over a year. It’s fun. Not including those close to me, approximately 600 of you followed this blog for some reason or another (a kiss on each of your cheeks).

Recently, I was told to be more sensible and change the content of this blog. I would like to remind anyone with concerns, that 600+ readers aren’t here to read about another boring, single, twentysomething white girl named Lauren who can’t afford cable and hates her dull job.

La La is a silly, flirty, smart, observant, independent young woman who jokes around with everyone and happens to have bright rays of love and hopefulness flying out of her somewhat clumsy butt. People from all over the world have fallen for her (even a couple of ladies) and I have received many kind emails with flattering feedback.

Maybe I am La La, or perhaps I am nothing like her. Maybe I am both people. It’s even possible that I was once one person and now I am the other. Regardless, which girl would you prefer to read about?:

1. On Saturday night, Lauren ate a veggie dog on a whole wheat bun and fell asleep on the couch around 10 pm.

OR

2. On Saturday night, La La went out with her friends, took five shots of tequila and woke up on the kitchen floor with some guy’s number written in lipstick on her arm. She vaguely remembers his gorgeous smile. Should she call him?

Who grabs you? Does it matter which scenario is a true story?

If you believe I should change La La, then you’re missing the humor and hope of this blog. Normally I would say viva la La La (or something) and write whatever I want,

but instead I will send La La on vacation through Friday and give you a “thrilling” peek at some of Lauren’s trials and tribulations.

Enjoy.

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Charm City Heroine Versus Junkie

3 Oct

Every now and then, a charm city chick might find herself crouched on the floor behind her bed, waiting for the police to arrive. It’s in that moment she realizes the only person she really has is herself, so she better get her dull knife ready in case she has to stab a bitch.

She focuses on her breath as she hears the intruder’s footsteps get louder. For some reason she is steady and unafraid. She smiles and wonders if maybe Baltimore should be considered a training course for the zombie apocalypse (our silly heroine has a habit of making jokes to herself during serious moments).

When the police turn up, she discovers it was just the neighbor’s junkie son trying to break into the wrong house. No big deal, he’s cool most of the time.

Or is it a big deal?

This was her fifth call to the police in four years. Most people don’t call the police that much, but she often finds herself observing or being a part of very odd situations involving very odd people–usually in the John Waters sense. Despite all the laughs she gets from these characters, she doesn’t always enjoy living in Baltimore, especially when she’s in danger or things get out of hand.

Why does she stay? Well, it’s interesting how family ties might keep a heroine in a place she doesn’t want to live.

Little does she know (okay, she knows) that soon she will be invited by the story’s hero to try somewhere and something completely new. He has a few things to take care of first (you know, hero stuff). When he finally asks her to come with him, it is advised that he arrive on a magic carpet and be prepared for a duet.

Just saying.

 

 

Will she then accept his offer? I wouldn’t know. Until we find out, someone should probably buy that girl a better knife…and a large suitcase.

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1 Oct

Chris is giving me exactly what I want for my birthday! Hope you all can make it!

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