Tag Archives: La La Versus Lauren

Lauren’s Less Boring Lesson

12 Oct

This week I learned that I, just like you, should be my own creative self. Lauren + La La = me, and I’m down with that. Thanks for playing along! Oh, and I found out just how much you people love couscous and graveyards (weirdos).

I also learned a lot about delivery and word choice. Here’s an stretch of an example from this morning that has nothing to do with blogging:

I was on the phone with my gentleman friend and we were discussing how I have nothing boring to say in today’s post. I didn’t have anything exciting to say either. When we hung up, I got out of my car and began my trek into work from the parking garage where they finally gave me a space last year (it only took three years).

Having a spot is a huge upgrade from when I to had to park in a west Baltimore neighborhood. I wore my running shoes every day and ran because it isn’t exactly the nicest neighborhood in town. A friend of mine was robbed by a bunch of girls when he parked there.

Anyway, I was walking in this morning and there was a man in the alley between the parking garage and my building. I have seen him creepily lurking around before.

As I walked by I heard him say, “Girl, you look like you got money.”

“Joke’s on him,” I thought, “I’m broke.”

And then he began following me, so I walked faster.

“WAIT! Come here!” he yelled at me. I walked even faster.

He kept following. I got out my mace just in case (and despite being frightened, I was a poet and didn’t know it). He followed me up to the front door of the building and he said,

“I meant to say you look like a million dollars and that ass is a dime-piece.”

“Oh. Thank you!” I replied, and joyfully bounded into the building.

_________________

Just like that, the atmosphere changed from “rob and rape” to “early morning compliment of a gal’s dime-piece.” Perhaps we should keep our own delivery and word choice in mind when we post and give feedback. It sounds obvious, but it’s worth considering. Also, don’t follow anyone down an alley. That’s just dumb. You can follow my blog, though, that’s fine.

I will be out this coming week for business. I will try to comment when I can. Fun things are happening soon. See you next Monday!

 

 

Post #3 by Another Single, Boring White Girl Named Lauren

11 Oct

Readers enjoying my boring posts may be deterred when learning that on Skype last night I played a wild and crazy game of Go Fish with my gentleman friend’s seven-year old daughter. She won. Twice.

Then he and I ate couscous together and I had a glass of wine. On a Wednesday. I know, I need to take it down a notch.

He just sent me a text saying he is starving. I am pretty hungry, too.

Anyway, back to last night. After we spoke, I tried to take a good picture of my dog and I to send out in Christmas cards. I didn’t really get the result I wanted:

 

Yuletide Greetings

 

We will try again this weekend.

Say, I just noticed that today I am not wearing socks. Dear me, perhaps I should have placed a “viewer discretion is advised” before that tidbit. I hope you aren’t cross. Please don’t be worried or frightened if your mind continues to be blown until dusk.

Post #2 by Another Single, Boring White Girl Named Lauren

10 Oct

This was once the view from my workplace:

London

 

This is now the view from my workplace:

Graveyard

 

Coming back to Baltimore was a sensible choice and editing science could be rewarding. Someday. Today I am editing a grant about the capacity for Env to differentiate naïve CD4 T cells into the T follicular helper phenotype. I must be sort of tired or something because my eyes keep crossing.

I work with an international group of people like I did in London, although I suppose now it’s just mostly old Chinese men and one old Russian guy.

Oh…and I guess there’s this one guy from Wisconsin named Glen who stares at me in the elevator. He has a bowl cut.

They may not give me credit for the things I do here, but it’s only a 12 minute drive from my house. Sometimes 14 minutes. Speaking of, I’m looking forward to getting home tonight because I’m having couscous again for dinner. Neat.

Post by Another Single, Boring White Girl Named Lauren

9 Oct

Looks like a rat has made a nest on my front porch. It’s pretty much the size of a Chihuahua. I saw it eating a bagel. My diet only allows those 100 calorie bagel thins. Must be nice.

Anyway, I guess the rat is here to stay. I’ve swept its poop off the stoop on Saturdays and Wednesdays for at least a month now.

Lunch time. I brought yogurt. Got to make sure my body looks like skin and bones for next summer in case I get to go to the beach or something.

 
– Lauren

PS – Oh my gosh, I almost forgot tomorrow is trash day. That was a close call.

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