Thoughts From a Drunk Girl…Ok, Woman…Pt. 3

2 Mar

I’m kinda tired, but here are some thoughts I’m thinking! And I’m drinking! Yay!

  • LOL. SAME:

Screenshot_2016

  • Alfonso Ribiero is, like, my Captain Planet power thing. Imagine we all put in our rings and it’s like, “Earth! Fire! Wind! Alfonso Ribiero!” and Captain Planet shows up and does the Carlton dance. Ha. I’d like that.

  • My friend Stacey and I were talking and she sent a pic of herself to be like “hi, friend.” I went to send a reply pic and realized I am an exhausted, unshowered woman in big earphones and a giant pink sports bra. This is kind of a regular thing. How men have ever governed their boners around me remains a legitimate question.

  • “Sorry I got angry and farted on your cat” is not something I want to ever have to say to another human. Again. I never want to have to say it again.

  • I went to Mardi Gras and saw some things I want to see again and saw some things I will never unsee. Weird boobs, for example. Below is a poem I just wrote about it.

While you stroll in New Orleans
you ought to go see the Mardi Gras
cause you’ll see some weird boobs–
go there to see some if you want.
Go eat po’ boys
and drink giant daiquiris,
which are just subs
and slushies with alcohol.
I ended up getting many ice headaches,
but hey, it was fun,
because I saw some weird boobs
and a guy showed me his Zulu King
(that’s code for wiener).

  • Life–is it not so strange? So sublime? Have you ever had one of those abracadabra awestruck moments when everything seems to fit together and you fill up with pure, loving emotion? Me too. We’re all connected.

I’m sorry, I have no idea where this one came from. Move along, folks. Nothing to see here.

  • Recently I saw a puppy bark at a gust of wind and it was adorable. This is my new hobby, and I would like for this new hobby, to which I am unwaveringly devoted, to blossom into a rewarding career. “What do you do for a living?” they’ll ask. “Oh, me? I observe the shit out of cute puppies. I’m so grateful and so blessed, you know. Puppy observation is a competitive field and I worked hard to get to my position as the Director-General of Observing Puppies.”

  • I’m sorry I haven’t been writing…and thank you to everyone who annoys me about it until I finally write again. I had a recent burst of creativity and more will come soon, and some of it wasn’t even written under the influence! GOODNIGHT GUYS!

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19 Responses to “Thoughts From a Drunk Girl…Ok, Woman…Pt. 3”

  1. Anonymous March 2, 2016 at 10:33 pm #

    Oh you sweet sexy girl, you build a bonfire of Ha Ha in my heart.
    Muuuuha…. that’s a big wet ol kiss from Canada babe. Love ya

    Liked by 1 person

    • La La March 2, 2016 at 10:37 pm #

      Lol, I see you, Bob! Just as loyal and as strange as ever. ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Bob March 2, 2016 at 10:34 pm #

    Crap that’s me girl

    Liked by 1 person

    • La La March 2, 2016 at 10:40 pm #

      Always forgetting to sign in…so hot.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Anthony March 2, 2016 at 11:07 pm #

    Lauren, you always find a way to make me smile. I know I am not the only one happy to see you writing again!

    Liked by 1 person

    • La La March 3, 2016 at 10:55 am #

      You are too kind!

      Like

  4. Amy Reese March 2, 2016 at 11:47 pm #

    That must have been cute to see a puppy barking at a gust of wind. I want to watch adorable puppies all day, too! Good to see you, La La!

    Liked by 1 person

    • La La March 2, 2016 at 11:57 pm #

      You can be co-director! And thanks Amy, I’ve been missing it!

      Like

  5. DavidStill March 3, 2016 at 1:31 am #

    Yeah. That poem took me on one kinda surreal adventure. Thanks.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Frivolous Monsters March 3, 2016 at 7:36 am #

    Governed their boners? Never heard that phrase before.
    And as for “how men / around me”… you obviously don’t know your powers.
    Does your Dad still read your blog?

    Liked by 1 person

    • La La March 3, 2016 at 7:48 am #

      Well, the question often…arises. How have you governed yours? He probably doesn’t, but if so, hi dad!

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Kristin March 3, 2016 at 10:53 am #

    Love this, as usual!

    Liked by 1 person

    • La La March 3, 2016 at 10:55 am #

      Thank you, Kristin! Xoxo

      Like

  8. mikeakin1 March 6, 2016 at 12:06 pm #

    “Recently I saw a puppy bark at a gust of wind and it was adorable.” That is so powerful in its own way!!

    Liked by 1 person

    • La La March 7, 2016 at 4:06 pm #

      Thanks, Mike. It’s powerfully cute, if nothing else!

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Paulina March 3, 2017 at 12:58 am #

    Oh Nadji!, qué maravillosa precsntaeión y que ricos tienen que estar con esa naranja por encima. me han encantado los vasitos. un beso y buen fin de semana.

    Like

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