Tag Archives: search terms

Obligatory Search Terms Post

15 Jan

There are many that stand out to me, but below are some of my favorite search terms from this past week. Of course the top search term was “tales of a charm city chick.” Yes, everyone, I can see that you look me up. The second search term was “Jonah Falcon’s dick,” which is still 13.5 inches in case anyone is wondering. No, I don’t know from experience, but I promise that you can find information about him elsewhere.

Okay, here we go.

Section 1:

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1. I will not strip on Skype, but I will do the robot for you to Tom Jones, though, so we should Skype some time.

2. It’s true, cats do not give even one single fuck.

3. I can do the Carmen Electra booty shake. I am small, but mighty.

Section 2:

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1. How to look hot like Marlon Brando. I don’t know, but if you are male, single and figure it out please CALL ME.

2. I am not available for purchase, but thank you for inquiring.

3. I have never discussed this topic, and I’m glad it has never happened to me.

4. YOU WENT OUT WITHOUT SOCKS…you risque little man, you.

Section 3:

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1. Aw, baby jesus wishes you a Merry Christmas, too.

2. I do have requirements, you can find them at this location. 

3. Someone got drunk and looked up a creepy topic about unicorns. For shame.

4. Canary yellow bridesmaids dresses are just lovely…I hope you found what you were looking for.

5. How to strip on Skype? 1. Turn on Tom Jones. 2. Take off your clothes, probably. You’re welcome. NEXT.

6. I love Lord of the Rings and all things hobbits, but girl hobbits are probably hairy, too. Just a warning.

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7. James Spader was hot as a young man. Agreed.

8. Who will strip for you on Skype? It still isn’t me. Try meeting someone and working for it. Lazy.

9. MY MOST FAVORITE SEARCH TERM OF THE LAST 7 DAYS. I don’t know. I don’t have words about this bodysuit. I don’t have a single thing to say besides THANK YOU for looking it up. Seriously, thank you.

 

Last but not least, if you haven’t seen it, this is my new future husband, Macklemore…. if Vyvacious doesn’t get to him first, of course. She’s gorgeous and loves her some Batman.

sexy 1900s steel conglomerate tycoon

23 May

Today someone searched the term “what is a steel conglomerate” and came upon my blog (no, not that kind of ‘came’). It is likely that this unfortunate wanderer of the internets was disappointed by what he found in my post from last year:

I always wait until the very last minute to get a Halloween costume together and every single year I regret it. Then, regardless of what I choose, it usually turns out to be one of those ridiculous sexy costumes that gals buy because we can because it’s Halloween. Last year I went as “sexy ghostbuster.” My cleavage was fully showcased and I wore the most insane heels. I ended up getting so wasted and my feet hurt so badly that my ex-boyfriend (male, normal looking ghostbuster) had to carry me over his shoulder 5 blocks back to the car….beer tears all the way. That poor guy.

“How are we going stay in place like this!!?” – Boobs

 

That is obviously not us, but my boobs did the same thing and much to my dismay, those puppies did not stay in place. My man kept calling me “Nipples McGillicutty.”

I brought up that story recently and my friend Jesse shared this video with me:

 

 

Next Halloween I want to have a party and be “sexy 1900s steel conglomerate tycoon.” I have a preeeeetty good feeling about it, and hey, maybe I’ll meet my future husband that night and we will have a funny story to tell.

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