Tag Archives: friendship

thoughts from BWI airport

11 Jun


I am sitting by myself at the airport, people watching like a champ, and thinking about how funny it is that many of these people are trying so hard to hide that they are a little weird. I am happy to be a little weird. You all (creative people/bloggers) have helped me embrace this loving weirdness and I am forever grateful. Thank you. I weird you guys. ♥ 

I am meant to embrace it and 2012 brought me here. Right now I am a raw nerve. Maybe those of us who are coming unglued were being held together by Elmer’s School Glue and this year is putting us back together with something like Gorilla Glue (or whatever is strong–I am no glue connoisseur).

Okay….time to board a plane and get crunk. It is Monday, after all. Also, look at this funny ass cat:  


In memory.

14 May


I would like to say I am sorry for the time we fought and I got all worked up and did not know what to do so I farted on your cat and shouted, “Take that!”

Hey, it lightened the mood and we both laughed so hard that we couldn’t breathe. Isn’t that the best kind of laughter?

Later, you told me I should post about it, but I never did because, I mean, who does that? Well, I guess I do. Hey, I never said I was perfect.

I am sure you’re having a nice laugh in heaven right now remembering that one.

Life will be forever different after today and you know what? I have never been so scared. I will miss the way you used to hold my shoulders, look in my eyes and say, “Be brave, you’ve got this.  I’ve seen what you can do.”

Be brave.

I think that today, after your funeral, I am going to go home and hug your stinky cat, run in the pouring rain and sing every song from Grease 2 at the very top of my lungs. That was our favorite.

Rest easy, Dane. Wow, I am going to miss you.

Aunt Lauren’s Dance Party

12 Mar

I have been babysitting my niece since she was 6 months old. She’s such a loving, happy little girl. You might say that my childhood experience was a bit different from her’s. This sums it up:

La La on sled (left) and Little L on sled (right)

We were night and day and I felt this difference from the moment we began spending our days together. I was a quiet, sensitive, coloring book kind of kid and she has been a funny, energetic, grade-A chatty Cathy from the get-go. 

When she turned 3, I needed to find something to tire her out so I invented, “Aunt Lauren’s Dance Party.” I would burn recent pop music to a CD, bring it to her house and we would drive (she usually drove) to a dance club in our imaginations called “Aunt Lauren’s” and then we would dance for hours. I was a fucking genius.

For 3 years we had fun with this by integrating all kinds of situations, dressing up, pretending to be different people, and making up silly dances. She’s older now and we see less of each other these days, but when we are together we watch musicals and sing along, build tents and really just have a rollicking good time.

Recently, I realized that we are now very much alike and that she helped me relive parts of my childhood (even adulthood) that frightened me in the past. Maybe I helped shape her into the charming, creative kid she is today (especially since she understands sarcasm). Regardless, I love her, and maybe one day I will make someone just as wonderful.


8 Mar

I have waited 3 and a half years for Ed, the painter in our building, to say something to me. We have never spoken or even exchanged glances. Ed’s job is to paint 6 floors of flat, chalk-white walls and then restart at the beginning and paint them again. How dull.

I used to feel bad for him so I would say, “good morning” or “have a good evening,” but he never responded. I gave up and figured that he’s just an impolite dick with a monotonous job. Sometimes when I pass by, I catch him in the window reflection checking out my ass. Boys really will be boys.

Today I came into work a different way so I could spend a little more time dreaming up things in the sunshine. Beautiful days always put my head in the clouds. As I approached the building, I saw Ed coming in from the other side. We walked in together and waited in silence for the elevator. Once we were on, the door closed and he looked up at me and said, “Whatever is making you smile like that, hold it close and never let it go.”

I was taken aback. “Oh I won’t,” I replied firmly. He smiled. We got off the elevator and before we went our separate ways he said, “Good girl. I’m glad we understand each other–now go be happy.”

And so I am. Life, what a funny, precious thing.

Friday drabble: A Gift

9 Dec

This is a Friday drabble–a challenge to tell a story in just 100 words. Make your own 100 word stories on Fridays and tag it with “friday drabble”

Thanks for coming with me, Abby!


I owe this photo to my 5-year-old self. She was a miserable kid who was afraid to sit on Santa’s lap. She feared he would say she was too disappointing to get what she wanted. She felt unworthy.

It doesn’t matter why I felt that way, or why it continued. I forgive those who taught me to be afraid—whether you were taking advantage of a situation or thought you had my best interests in mind.

Now, I choose to know the truth: I love myself and I’m worthy and deserving of love and respect, just like everyone else. Here’s to happiness.

the crazy cloud.

28 Nov

On Sundays I work with all women. It is a supportive, difficult,  inspiring, hilarious and absolutely exhausting environment. Why exhausting? Well, while a lot of the time we are having fun, there’s usually a part of the day when we are all thinking way too much and getting worked up about things that probably don’t matter. 9 times out of 10, we end up talking about the things that we think that men are thinking, but we never actually know. And yes, we are all a little crazy and then we feed off the crazy of our friends. It happens. I call that “place” that we all seem to go the “crazy cloud.”

I’d like to give you an example of a Sunday on the crazy cloud, all in good humor (names and subject matter have been changed):

Sunday begins–

Hope: Last night we went to *name a place* and had so much fun, but my man said *name something stupid* and I called him a dick and now it’s the end of the world because he isn’t talking to me and I don’t know what to do so I am going to overreact.

Susie: My boyfriend did that once and I didn’t talk to him for 3 weeks and he came around.

Kelly: My ex husband did something like that once. Relationships are hopeless.

Hope: I give up, I am going to find someone who deserves my time. If that doesn’t work, I’m going to be a lesbian.

Susie: You could get anyone. So yeah, fuck him! You deserve better!

Nikki: My husband did that before we got married so I kissed someone else in front of him. I don’t recommend that. It worked, but don’t do it.

**2 hours pass and they meet up again**

Hope: You know, I dig the guy and I think I am just going to say sorry because he hasn’t said anything yet and he’s obviously mad at me.

Susie:  He probably just meant *this* and instead it came out like *this* and now he feels stupid.

Kelly: Men don’t know anything about anything and he was only thinking of himself. The other day this guy and I got into a food fight over something like that. Don’t expect anything better than him because men are all the same.

**hours pass, they meet up again after marinating in the fact that men are terrible**

Hope, Susie, Kelly and Nikki basically just all talking at the same time: I was just thinking, and I think that most guys think *name something we think that men think, but we aren’t sure if they are actually thinking at all*

Hope: Oh, wait, he just sent me a text. He had fun last night and he got to sleep for a couple extra hours this morning.

Susie: See? There ya go. Just let him come to you.

Hope: Thanks, Susie, for talking me down from my crazy cloud.

–Sunday ends

pepper tooth

19 Oct

Recently, I went to Grano Pasta Bar with my friend Dee Dee. After a couple of glasses of wine, I had a substantial realization about friendship:

Your friends should only be considered “true friends” if they can tell you when you have pepper tooth.

Pepper tooth – 

When a food particle, usually a spice, can be seen in between the teeth or along the gum line (often between the central and lateral incisor).

It is a known fact that all people with teeth get pepper tooth. Thankfully, when it does happen, our true friends will inform us of the intrusive particle.

These same friends might do other small, important favors for you. For example, my friends understand what I mean when I flair my nostrils. Upon seeing the nostril signal, a friend will discreetly check if I have any bats in the cave (boogers). Thank you for doing that for me, true friends.

In conclusion, cherish your true friends. If we did not have them, we would all walk around looking absolutely ridiculous. I would probably have a unibrow, pepper tooth and my dress would be tucked into my underpants (which has happened to me twice and seriously, you would be simply amazed by how long the general public will let you go with your dress tucked into your fucking underpants).

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