I hope you’ll enjoy some David Harding with you coffee this morning.
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Can Attractive Women Be Funny?
25 OctWhile Nikki Finke, Editor in Chief of Deadline Hollywood, was watching the Emmys’, she wrote:
“Beautiful actresses are not funny. They don’t know how to do comedy…Only women who grew up ugly and stayed ugly, or through plastic surgery became beautiful, can pull off sitcoms or standups. Bowen isn’t a comedienne just like Brooke Shields wasn’t and a zillion more. Because it’s all about emotional pain and humiliation and rising above both by making people laugh with you instead of at you. So stop casting beautiful actresses when you should be giving ugly women a chance.”
It reminded me of an article I read in Vanity Fair by the late Christopher Hitchens. He explained that attractive women don’t need to be funny to get attention from men, that women in general aren’t childish (crude) enough to be funny and that the rare female comedians who are funny are normally “hefty or dykey or jewish” (oh my).
There are other opinions out there suggesting women in general aren’t funny.
So, can attractive women be funny? Can women in general be funny people?
Nope. You’re right, Nikki Finke and ghost of Christopher Hitchens (who quoted the 1911 poem “The Female of the Species” by Rudyard Kipling, which says women deal with the seriousness of motherhood and have no time for jest). I guess we can all agree because we all have the same views on what it means to be “beautiful” and/or “funny,” despite the variety of both female characteristics and types of humor that exist.
I really just can’t think of any funny, pretty women on TV and my lovely lady friends/the beautiful female bloggers are certainly all dull.
And yikes, Kristin Wiig, Maya Rudolph and Tina Fey never get me to even crack a smile:
Photo by Annie Leibowitz, Vanity Fair
Anyway, I’m off to make some sort of stew and have a baby or something. If readers have any examples of funny, attractive women, please share.
No? You don’t? Didn’t think so.
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20
Oct
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Power Ballad Serenade
19 OctLast night, as I sat down to relax after my long work day, I was startled by a man right outside my window singing at the top of his lungs, “I wanna know what love is, I want you to shoooow me!”
I hoped and prayed that he was drunk and/or had the wrong house. I peered through the blinds, but it was dark and I couldn’t quite make out his face. He continued singing, “I wanna feel what love is, I know you can shoooow me!!”
I opened the window and shouted down to him, “Do I know you?!”
“Yeah! It’s me!” he yelled back. I squinted, but still couldn’t see him.
Just then, the woman across the street opened her window and screamed, “I’m over here, jackass!”
Giggling, I shut the window and watched him turn and stumble across the street. I went back to relaxing and waited patiently for Christopher to get home from work so I could tell him the story and secretly I hoped we would then have a Foreigner sing-along. We did.
Oh please, don’t look at me like that. Everyone loves a power ballad. Which is your favorite? I wanna know, I wanna know, I wanna knnooooowww…
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Lauren’s Less Boring Lesson
12 OctThis week I learned that I, just like you, should be my own creative self. Lauren + La La = me, and I’m down with that. Thanks for playing along! Oh, and I found out just how much you people love couscous and graveyards (weirdos).
I also learned a lot about delivery and word choice. Here’s an stretch of an example from this morning that has nothing to do with blogging:
I was on the phone with my gentleman friend and we were discussing how I have nothing boring to say in today’s post. I didn’t have anything exciting to say either. When we hung up, I got out of my car and began my trek into work from the parking garage where they finally gave me a space last year (it only took three years).
Having a spot is a huge upgrade from when I to had to park in a west Baltimore neighborhood. I wore my running shoes every day and ran because it isn’t exactly the nicest neighborhood in town. A friend of mine was robbed by a bunch of girls when he parked there.
Anyway, I was walking in this morning and there was a man in the alley between the parking garage and my building. I have seen him creepily lurking around before.
As I walked by I heard him say, “Girl, you look like you got money.”
“Joke’s on him,” I thought, “I’m broke.”
And then he began following me, so I walked faster.
“WAIT! Come here!” he yelled at me. I walked even faster.
He kept following. I got out my mace just in case (and despite being frightened, I was a poet and didn’t know it). He followed me up to the front door of the building and he said,
“I meant to say you look like a million dollars and that ass is a dime-piece.”
“Oh. Thank you!” I replied, and joyfully bounded into the building.
_________________
Just like that, the atmosphere changed from “rob and rape” to “early morning compliment of a gal’s dime-piece.” Perhaps we should keep our own delivery and word choice in mind when we post and give feedback. It sounds obvious, but it’s worth considering. Also, don’t follow anyone down an alley. That’s just dumb. You can follow my blog, though, that’s fine.
I will be out this coming week for business. I will try to comment when I can. Fun things are happening soon. See you next Monday!
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Post #3 by Another Single, Boring White Girl Named Lauren
11 OctReaders enjoying my boring posts may be deterred when learning that on Skype last night I played a wild and crazy game of Go Fish with my gentleman friend’s seven-year old daughter. She won. Twice.
Then he and I ate couscous together and I had a glass of wine. On a Wednesday. I know, I need to take it down a notch.
He just sent me a text saying he is starving. I am pretty hungry, too.
Anyway, back to last night. After we spoke, I tried to take a good picture of my dog and I to send out in Christmas cards. I didn’t really get the result I wanted:
Yuletide Greetings
We will try again this weekend.
Say, I just noticed that today I am not wearing socks. Dear me, perhaps I should have placed a “viewer discretion is advised” before that tidbit. I hope you aren’t cross. Please don’t be worried or frightened if your mind continues to be blown until dusk.
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Post #2 by Another Single, Boring White Girl Named Lauren
10 OctThis was once the view from my workplace:
London
This is now the view from my workplace:
Graveyard
Coming back to Baltimore was a sensible choice and editing science could be rewarding. Someday. Today I am editing a grant about the capacity for Env to differentiate naïve CD4 T cells into the T follicular helper phenotype. I must be sort of tired or something because my eyes keep crossing.
I work with an international group of people like I did in London, although I suppose now it’s just mostly old Chinese men and one old Russian guy.
Oh…and I guess there’s this one guy from Wisconsin named Glen who stares at me in the elevator. He has a bowl cut.
They may not give me credit for the things I do here, but it’s only a 12 minute drive from my house. Sometimes 14 minutes. Speaking of, I’m looking forward to getting home tonight because I’m having couscous again for dinner. Neat.
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Post by Another Single, Boring White Girl Named Lauren
9 OctLooks like a rat has made a nest on my front porch. It’s pretty much the size of a Chihuahua. I saw it eating a bagel. My diet only allows those 100 calorie bagel thins. Must be nice.
Anyway, I guess the rat is here to stay. I’ve swept its poop off the stoop on Saturdays and Wednesdays for at least a month now.
Lunch time. I brought yogurt. Got to make sure my body looks like skin and bones for next summer in case I get to go to the beach or something.
– Lauren
PS – Oh my gosh, I almost forgot tomorrow is trash day. That was a close call.
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La La Versus Lauren
8 OctI have written as La La for over a year. It’s fun. Not including those close to me, approximately 600 of you followed this blog for some reason or another (a kiss on each of your cheeks).
Recently, I was told to be more sensible and change the content of this blog. I would like to remind anyone with concerns, that 600+ readers aren’t here to read about another boring, single, twentysomething white girl named Lauren who can’t afford cable and hates her dull job.
La La is a silly, flirty, smart, observant, independent young woman who jokes around with everyone and happens to have bright rays of love and hopefulness flying out of her somewhat clumsy butt. People from all over the world have fallen for her (even a couple of ladies) and I have received many kind emails with flattering feedback.
Maybe I am La La, or perhaps I am nothing like her. Maybe I am both people. It’s even possible that I was once one person and now I am the other. Regardless, which girl would you prefer to read about?:
1. On Saturday night, Lauren ate a veggie dog on a whole wheat bun and fell asleep on the couch around 10 pm.
OR
2. On Saturday night, La La went out with her friends, took five shots of tequila and woke up on the kitchen floor with some guy’s number written in lipstick on her arm. She vaguely remembers his gorgeous smile. Should she call him?
Who grabs you? Does it matter which scenario is a true story?
If you believe I should change La La, then you’re missing the humor and hope of this blog. Normally I would say viva la La La (or something) and write whatever I want,
but instead I will send La La on vacation through Friday and give you a “thrilling” peek at some of Lauren’s trials and tribulations.
Enjoy.
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Charm City Heroine Versus Junkie
3 OctEvery now and then, a charm city chick might find herself crouched on the floor behind her bed, waiting for the police to arrive. It’s in that moment she realizes the only person she really has is herself, so she better get her dull knife ready in case she has to stab a bitch.
She focuses on her breath as she hears the intruder’s footsteps get louder. For some reason she is steady and unafraid. She smiles and wonders if maybe Baltimore should be considered a training course for the zombie apocalypse (our silly heroine has a habit of making jokes to herself during serious moments).
When the police turn up, she discovers it was just the neighbor’s junkie son trying to break into the wrong house. No big deal, he’s cool most of the time.
Or is it a big deal?
This was her fifth call to the police in four years. Most people don’t call the police that much, but she often finds herself observing or being a part of very odd situations involving very odd people–usually in the John Waters sense. Despite all the laughs she gets from these characters, she doesn’t always enjoy living in Baltimore, especially when she’s in danger or things get out of hand.
Why does she stay? Well, it’s interesting how family ties might keep a heroine in a place she doesn’t want to live.
Little does she know (okay, she knows) that soon she will be invited by the story’s hero to try somewhere and something completely new. He has a few things to take care of first (you know, hero stuff). When he finally asks her to come with him, it is advised that he arrive on a magic carpet and be prepared for a duet.
Just saying.
Will she then accept his offer? I wouldn’t know. Until we find out, someone should probably buy that girl a better knife…and a large suitcase.
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La La
Dog lover. Storyteller. Urbanite-Suburbanite. Poet. Music addict. Editor. Explorer. Wine enthusiast (Malbec, please). Anglophile. People watcher. My dream job? Writer, or a Tom Jones back up singer. Well, not Tom Jones now, but Tom Jones in the early '70s...so let's go with the writing thing.
tales of a charm city chick 